What are the most extravagant beauty treatments?
This week Fashion Statement has come over all Bad Science. What prompted this unusual outbreak of scepticism? The news that Mila Kunis, star of Black Swan, recently treated herself to a facial that cost $7,000. No, that isn't a typo. Seven thousand dollars for a facial. We can only hope she's worth it.
So where does the science come in? Well, according to the creator of said facial, Scott-Vincent Borba of BORBA skincare (nothing says luxury skincare like screaming capitalisation), this particular treatment contains rubies and diamonds, which provide antioxidants and a "lustrous sheen". Much like going for a gentle jog, then, only with more bling. FS fondly imagines the industrial-grade diamond-crushing machines at Borba's salon, grinding away priceless gems into a topically applied paste, while the merry little workers trudge back from the mine with the latest finds, singing their "Heigh-Ho" song.
Borba's website is well worth a browse, particularly for his musings on the philosophy of beauty. "What I particularly love about beauty," he says, "is that it sits right in the middle between science and fashion, drawing inspiration and content from both ... For me, that's the most intriguing and exciting thing in the world." Poor chap; clearly he needs to get away from the coalface a bit more.
Should Ms Kunis be seeking more ways to flush her money down the drain, perhaps she should head to Florida, where the spa at the Hotel Victor offers an Evian bath for a mere £5,000. This, apparently, consists of 350 gallons of Evian sprinkled with rose petals. Now, FS was never good at maths, so bear with us. At Ocado you can buy a six-pack of 1.5 litre bottles - so nine litres in total - for £3.66. You want 1,324 litres, the equivalent of 350 US gallons. So to do this treatment at home you just need 147 packs (and a splash more, but let's not be picky). So [sound of rusty FS brain cranking] for a mere £538.02 and, let's say, an extra £5 for the roses ... bargain! You've saved yourself an absolute fortune. And you'll enjoy a thoroughly, er, wet bath into the bargain.
Ocado, alas, does not stock rubies and diamonds, so can't help you if you want to release your inner facialist at home. However Forbes.com does have a very handy list of the most expensive spa treatments. Not so much how to spend it, as how to flush it away.
If you remove tiny factors such as affordability, legality, practicality, equality or realism, some of Steve Hilton's "blue sky thinking" ideas might sound reasonable.
The prime minister's strategy director has devised a number of radical solutions (most often to problems that do not exist) to help Cameron cut red tape and make further cost-savings.
According to the Financial Times, Hilton's wackiest ideas included abolishing maternity rights as well as all consumer rights legislation to help kickstart the economy into life.
He allegedly suggested that Cameron should ignore European labour rules on temporary workers – a decision that, if implemented, could have seen the prime minister breaking the law. A solution to long-term unemployment was to close all jobcentres and fund community groups instead.
Consumer rights legislation could be suspended for nine months, just to see what would happen. Presumably, suspending Cameron's and Hilton's pay for nine months (just to see what would happen) did not make the list.
Perhaps the best suggestion was for the government to purchase cloudbursting technology to up the hours of sunshine across the UK. Resulting headlines about Cameron even controlling the weather were perhaps too much for the PM to stomach.
Twitter has been quick to mock Hilton's ideas, the blueskyhilton prompting a flurry of sarcastic tweets containing crazy, Hiltonesque suggestions for the government to consider. One user wrote: "Everybody on (any) benefit gets put in a Big Brother house, if they don't complete task no food for the week." Another suggested: "Team up with mobile operator to boost vit C intake in poor, hand out citrus fruit one day per week, call it Orange Wednesdays."
"Scrap benefits and open a megaworkhouse managed by Securicor," was suggested by another Twitterer, while my personal favourite was: "Corridors are the least productive part of a building, let's ban corridors, growth in no time".
So what do you think of Hilton's ideas? If the sky's the limit, what ideas would you suggest could revive our stuttering economy?
Amir Khan is relishing his return to "the Mecca of boxing" when he takes on the wily American veteran Zab Judah in Las Vegas on Saturday night.
Lennox Lewis, Ricky Hatton and Joe Calzaghe have all entertained the masses in Sin City over the past decade and the WBA light-welterweight champion Khan will look to add another chapter to that British lineage on the famous strip against the 33-year-old IBF title-holder Judah.
The Mandalay Bay Resort plays host to the unification match-up, the scene of Lewis's comprehensive knockout of Hasim Rahman in 2001 and Khan's points triumph against Argentina's Marcos Maidana last December.
"Vegas is the Mecca of boxing nowadays," Khan said. "The biggest fights are over there and the Mandalay Bay has seen some big, big fights. It's the second time I'm going there and I'm only 24. Not many fighters have ever done that at this age.
"Normally fighters head there towards the end of their careers. I love fighting away from home because I'm not one to feel like the outsider. It's going to bring out the best in me."
Khan will hope for a more routine outing against the two-weight world champion Judah than he experienced over 12 brutal rounds with Maidana.
Despite flooring his man with a vicious first-round body shot and pocketing many rounds on the basis of superior speed and skill, Maidana's power was always a threat to Khan and a succession of thunderous right hands had the Bolton fighter virtually out on his feet in round 10.
He weathered the storm to earn a narrow but unanimous points verdict and bask in the plaudits of luminaries such as Oscar De La Hoya, who branded the contest "the fight of the decade".
"It was a very important fight for me," Khan said. "It was my first one in Vegas and that makes you nervous. You want to leave a statement and I think I did that.
"Very often people can go to Vegas, fight and it's soon forgotten about. But my fight against Maidana is never going to be forgotten. People will always talk about it as being the best fight of 2010."
Khan's capacity to withstand Maidana's late onslaught – quite at odds with his first-round capitulation to Colombia's Breidis Prescott in Manchester in 2008 – was widely credited to the work of the strength and conditioning coach Alex Ariza.
It therefore surprised many when Ariza was not present alongside the trainer Freddie Roach for Khan's bout against the European champion Paul McCloskey in April, his place taken by fellow American Michael Vale.
Stories of contractual wrangling were widespread at the time, but with Ariza back on board for the encounter with Judah, Khan insists all differences have been resolved and claims the main issue was the division of the coach's time between himself and Roach's star pupil Manny Pacquiao.
"We know how good Alex is," he said. "We parted when I had the fight against McCloskey because at the same time he had Manny Pacquiao before his fight with Shane Moseley. I didn't really want to step on toes. I knew he'd got Manny and would be rushing so I thought I'd bring someone else into the team.
"We sat down afterwards and planned the year to make sure that me and Manny Pacquiao get 100% of Alex's time. We're happy with everything. We've put all that other stuff behind us."
There are a few essentials that every self-respecting superhero needs to get right before embarking on a crime-fighting career. A cool name. Some great powers. The ability to sew your own costume. But after a long night spent keeping the streets safe from supervillains, what you really need is somewhere quiet to get away from it all. So who would live in a secret lair like this..?
Wayne Manor/The Batcave
Location A very quiet corner of suburban Gotham which nobody ever drives past.
Estate agent pitch A miraculously preserved late-Gothic manor house. Breathtaking original features, oak panelling, fine carvings, suits of armour, antique butler.
Facilities The cavernous basement includes a gym, trophy room, parking for car/boat/bike/plane.
What it says about the owner Split personality alert: materialist playboy on the surface; sinister hidden depths.
Would also suit Elizabethan nobleman, billionaire chiropterologist, wealthy al-Qaida operative.
Drawbacks Miles to the nearest shops. Miles to the end of the drive. May require pest control.
For a quick sale Spruce up that dingy basement.
Superman's Fortress of Solitude
Location The Arctic
Estate agent pitch Minimalist cool meets Kryptonian bling in this spacious open-plan eco retreat. South-facing windows on all sides.
Facilities State-of-the-art entertainment system, repository of galactic knowledge, ice machine. Er, did we mention the crystals?
What it says about the owner Dangerously antisocial, seriously anal in decor tastes, paranoid about security.
Would also suit Lady Gaga, Crystal Palace fan, Sir Ranulph Fiennes.
Drawbacks No heating, electricity, wi-fi, doors, walls, etc. Terrible transport connections. Global warming could affect value.
For a quick sale Bung in some fan heaters and turn it into a Swarovski showroom.
Iron Man's retreat
Location Point Dume, Malibu, California.
Estate agent pitch John Lautner modernism meets Zaha Hadid-style high-tech in this stunning cantilevered clifftop pad. Great ocean views.
Facilities Tennis courts, helipad, wrestling ring, extensive underground parking for vintage cars, entertaining and shagging facilities.
What it says about the owner Insecure narcissist who's yet to work out what he's overcompensating for.
Would also suit Formula One driver, Roman Abramovich, Ernst Stavro Blofeld.
Drawbacks Structurally vulnerable in high-impact combat situations. Large window-cleaning bills.
For a quick sale Convert it into a boutique rehab facility.
The Incredibles house
Location Suburban Metroville
Estate agent pitch The last word in retro chic, this mid-century modern villa in the space-age "googie" style maintains all its original fixtures and fittings. Think the Jetsons open a Danish furniture showroom.
Facilities Fully fitted kitchen. Modular open shelving. Den/trophy room.
What it says about the owner A family that knows what it wants and knows where to get it: from secondhand stores and eBay.
Would also suit Betty Draper, Charles and Ray Eames, Amy Winehouse.
Drawbacks Stultifyingly conformist neighbours.
For a quick sale Don't change a thing!
Hal Jordan's apartment in Green Lantern
Location Coast City, which looks a lot like San Diego.
Estate agent pitch Live the urban bachelor dream in this sought-after warehouse apartment, located in a fashionable part of the movie studio backlot.
Facilities Fashionable exposed brickwork. Masculine, quasi-industrial interior aesthetic. Comes with own lantern.
What it says about the owner Thrusting young jock who cares more about mountain bikes than his feminine side.
Would also suit Charlie Sheen, Jason Statham, Jennifer Beals in Flashdance.
Drawbacks Lighting options limited; any colour you like as long as it's green.
For a quick sale Put in some Cath Kidston curtains.
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