Hopes, Fears and Opportunities.

Well the end is here and it’s time to once again reflect on myself, see how far I’ve come and think about what the future may hold for me. This post will be all about that.

I’m going to start with the obvious and say that I hope I pass the course. It’s been a long three years and a fast three years at the same time, and I’ve learned loads about the illustration world and myself, so it would be a shame t see all that go to waste and me not even pass. I hope I get above a 3rd, rather like last time, but I really have no idea what to expect this time round. I’m hoping that my dissertation went well as well because I had fun writing about something that I love.

I really hope that I stay in contact with most of the people I’ve met over the last few years here as well. They have some great work, and I know we can all help each other out in this industry, and I’m not asking for our class to become a huge collective or anything but for us to keep in regular contact and see how we’re all doing with our work would be a great way to keep us all motivated. Luckily, I’m the one in the class that can arrange meet up’s like that, and there are already a few nights on a month like that, so I think I can make that happen.

Thinking more long term, I really hope that my work continues to evolve and progress at the pace that it’s done over the past couple of months. I’ve finally become comfortable with a way of working that I feel reflects me as a person, and I can see ways that I can improve on my pieces already, so it will be fun to grow in that way.

As an optimistic person anyway, I’m mainly just hoping that whatever the future holds, I’m a happy person, and I bring fun to those around me. I don’t want to make too many plans because I like the spontaneous side of not knowing what might happen next, so I don’t want to say “I hope I land a great illustration job” because that kind of hope makes me feel tied down.

Once again, my fears are reflected in my hope in the way that they are opposite; I fear i’m going to end the course with a fail, fear of losing contact with everyone (that would be lonely wouldn’t it!), fear I’ll get stuck in a rut with my work (never going to happen) and I have a real fear of being unhappy.

My fear of walking into the real world and being unhappy is something I’ve been trying to work on already; I’ve been struggling with depression this year and been seeing a counselor to not much effect, but I’ve really been working on myself in preparation for when I leave, so hopefully the transition will be smoother. My unhappy states got me in a lot of bad spots with my uni work and with my job, and even cut me off from my friends and family so I guess I’m worried that when all of the stress is off I might sink back into that, and it’s somewhere I never want to be again.

On a more business level, I fear that my work wont reach the world, and that it wont be… not recognized…  maybe that my work wont be understood by the audience I’m aiming for it to reach. However, I’ll just be able to utilize the knowledge I’ve learned at university so I can’t see that being too much of a problem.

One more fear that I assume a few people have is that I’m going to leave uni, get a full time job (damn you recession and all that) and be stuck in it for years whilst trying o save money, and then never having time to practice my illustration, and that I will eventually leave it behind! I’ve always had the cunning plan to juggle one or two part-time jobs and then my freelance work anyway though, and I remember a talk I went to once, and the designer actually said that it was a good idea. So I’m hoping to stick to that, but we all know how quickly the tide can change.

Finally, my opportunities. I’ve been weighing my opportunities up for a while deciding what I should do with myself, and I realize that there is so much to explore. I want to go travelling still, and I think going abroad for a bit to clear my head would be a good idea for me. When I come back I have the opportunity to go back to York, where I’m sure I can easily fit back in, or stay in Manchester, which I love, and is saturated with art.

I’ve also had the opportunity to meet so many people in Manchester, and networking and keeping in touch is going to open so many doors not just for me but for all of us. The course has given me the opportunity to become better not only at illustration, but designing, writing, drawing, computer skills, animation, etc. It has opened doors to many other creative worlds and I’m thankful for that. It has also helped me get to know people that can help me in each field, so wherever I go in the creative world in the future there will be someone I can rely on to help me.

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